What Not To Say To The Nice Police Officer
  • Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
  • Bad cop -- no doughnut!
  • Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
  • Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
  • Gee, Officer - that's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
  • Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
  • Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
  • Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
  • Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me -- Good Job!
  • I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
  • I pay your salary!
  • I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
  • I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
  • I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
  • Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
  • So, uh, you on the take or what?
  • Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
  • Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
  • What do you mean, "Have you been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
  • Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's / boyfriend's nightstand.
  • You want me to take off ...what?
  • You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Don't Panic - Just a Little Humor!
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